Dillemma

Sometime hundred letters are fake and one letter has value. Value which defines people, their character, relationship everything. Everything that has any connection with them. I chose this word "Dilemma" for me. Today i am writing for myself, my peace. Its something which i really want to say but lack words to explain.

I feel hollow inside when i think about myself, like no content i have when i think about me.My mind goes blank. At times, i feel people are right when they call me deserted but what is wrong? why they say like that for me? There was a time when i was sent to hostel in my childhood, i felt abandoned, Was it right? I am have a relationship in which i am always afraid if i am secure. I love him a lot. 

But look at this word, how wonderful it is "Dil+le+mma" like someone says in hindi or nepali "In your heart". This world has always been biased to explain right meanings and gave it their own meaning. So i chose my word, without meaning just like how it spells, how we say Dillemma. As above, i told you number of things, where as think about it they are inclusive. It is kind of customize set of problem which may be just happened to me, not to everyone. Then, why should i rely on anyone for my definition. I will make my world with my definition.

Love is not conditional, noone can make fall in love on gun point. It just happens how yet to be found. There is gravity which even newton cannot define. There is this saying in sanskrit "Aaham Bramha", it says we are the center of universe and everything happening around us is centripetal force of ours. We can do number of miracles but can't believe in ourself. This is not fair. Lets come out of our shell and start believing in ourself, start days from today to worderful tomorrows.

Life is different and honestly speaking, it is little strange. It teaches you about steps which you are not aware of. Its holds the serenity to reveal itself in stages. A beauty which tells you everyday that you will be a different person tomorrow. How strange is that? you know that you are preparing a ingredient for tomorrow which have not seen, not felt, not even realized how it will be? There comes the role of beauty which we cannot see today but experience tomorrow. There is beauty in everything we do today. Consciously or unconsciously does not matter.
The general concept of beauty starts with physical appearance and ends at your soul. Actually, this is a story which our soul already knows thatswhy this story goes like "Curious case of Benjamin Button" a great movie by great actor. When a child is born, he is immature to understand how his mother looks like where as he can feel the warmth of her beauty from affection shared by her. He has no idea of worldly need but with that touch and affection he understands there are others to take care of him. This is the beauty shared between two souls, they make each other complete. One of the most divine relation on Earth.
Everyday we come across many girls or boys complaining or unsatisfied about their looks my hair is dry, i have belly, huge back etc. Question is does that really matter?? Being conscious is good but how about those people who cannot look beautiful ever. GOD has been partial to them and not made eligible for it. Is this only criteria? Ages and Experiences say they are temporary that lives for sometime may be 10 -20 years but ultimately it will fade.
What will live is your soul. That will be in existence till infinity. That is why, beauty is not GOD gifted but it lies in us, lives in us. Everyone is beautiful, we are beautiful, I am beautiful!!